


A Spark He Kindles

by queenwrites



Category: Naruto
Genre: Community: naruto100, F/M, Hyuuga Hinata-centric, NaruHina Fan Day, POV Hyuuga Hinata, Poetic, Poetry, Romance, Sick Character, Sunsets, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-18 04:56:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15478152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenwrites/pseuds/queenwrites
Summary: Hinata always wants to be normal, just like everyone else at her age.She wants to know how does it feel like to have many friends from school or college. Sadly, she'd never get that chance.Her colour in this life.. Does she even have one?Her light in this life.. It has been dimmed long ago.No spark can be kindled within her anymore.At least, that's what she thinks—till someone comes to her life and proves her wrong.





	1. Shade

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any characters here. All characters belong to Naruto by Masashi Kishimoto. If you want to keep updated, stay tune on my page @byakuganohime on Instagram, I will update a new chapter twice or once in a week. Thank you.

_You have your own colour in this life. Don’t let it fade._

  
I wrote that line in my book. I wonder what colour do I have? If each person has their own shade, then what shade do I have?

  
Just like another days, this day didn’t go that well. But I can’t curse anything other than myself. If my day, like this one, didn’t go that well, maybe I was the one who didn’t do much about it. I lay my eyes on the glittery surface of the water. The sunset is too beautiful.

  
“When do you want to go back?” Sakura’s voice wakes me up. She kneels in front of me with the warm smile on her face.

  
I smile back. “It’s already the time yet?” I ask her.

  
“Yes, Hinata. I don’t want something bad happens to you again,” she answers with the wrinkles on her forehead.

  
I try to give her my best smile to convince her. “I’ll be okay. The sun is setting, I don’t want to miss it,” I say. “You promised me this day, remember? I didn’t have the chance to watch the sunset yesterday.”

  
Sakura nods with smile. “Fine then.”

  
The orange bias on the surface of the water makes me feel alive. I don’t know how does it work, but, it really does. All these years, I always felt like I was dying inside. Like, no spark can be kindled within me anymore. I’m just dead inside. I can’t feel anything unless it’s sad or insecure. But whenever I look at the sunset, especially that deep shade of the orange, I feel alive.

  
I want to watch a thousand of sunsets if I could. That’s unfortunate. I spend my whole life at home or the hospital. I’ve never gone to school like normal people have. I was always in home school, got private teacher and only learned basic things. I wish I was Sakura, who is a normal girl, like everyone else around me. Go to public school, go to college, making friends, getting drunk, and stuff.

  
“I’m so glad to hear that your book ‘Gloaming’ is now in the first place for the best-selling book in Konoha,” Sakura says, breaks the silence. She no longer kneels in front of me, now she sits beside me, _beside my wheelchair._

  
I let out a chuckle. “I’m glad too, Sakura. But I wish I could do more. Like you.”

  
“No one can wish to be anyone else. They got their roles already.”

  
I turn to her in awe. “That’s my line!”

  
“Yes, I’ve read your book too. I’m like, the biggest fan of it,” Sakura says as she rolls her eyes, and then laughs.

  
The orange fades, the darkness comes.

  
“Thank you, Sakura, I don’t know what would I do without you,” I say as I give her smile.

  
She rolls her eyes and lets out a sigh. “Stop saying things like that. I’ll always be your number one doctor, right? Let me do my duty. That’s my role in this world.”

  
I laugh as she takes me back to my hospital room.

* * *

  
I’m being hospitalized for a week—and it’s the fifth day. This is the second period of this month. I’m being hospitalized two times in a month—for a week of each period. My Father always comes in the morning, and will bring me breakfast from home. I refused to eat the hospital food. As for lunch, Neji will be the one who brings it for me. And Hanabi will come here after her classes ended to make sure I have my dinner.

  
Father smiles as he puts the breakfast on the drawer by my bed. “How are you, Hina? Are you feeling better?”

  
I give him a smile, then he kisses my forehead before he grabs a chair to sit down. “You don’t have to worry about me, Father. I’m in the best hands.”

  
“I know Sakura is like your personal doctor. But I’m still worry about you. It’s natural.”

  
I let out a chuckle. “You don’t have to, I’m twenty one already!”

  
Father laughs then rubs his head. “It’s not an excuse for a Father though. Even though you’re getting older, you’re still my daughter,” he says, his smile is warm like always.

  
I nod. “Fine, Father, if you say so. But don’t worry about me too much. I’m only natural if I’m like this. You have to worry about Hanabi and her college too,” I reply.

  
“I’m worry about you two,” Father says. “Alright then, I should be heading to office now. Take care, Hina. I love you.” He walks toward me and kisses my forehead again. Father always does it.

  
I smile and nod. “Thank you Father and you too, take care, don’t forget your lunch. I love you.”

  
My Father gives two thumbs and a wink as he walks to the door. I wish Father doesn’t spend much time on his company. Well I guess it can’t be helped, since I’m the one who always needs money because of my disease.

  
I grab my breakfast and eat it in silence.

* * *

  
I can’t be normal, that’s not the problem. I want to be normal, that’s the problem. I’m not paralyzed just because I was in a wheelchair. My disease is a rare one, like only a person or two have the same disease as me. The Konoha Medical Center is now in progress finding the right medicine to this disease. I’ve been sick since I was five. And now Sakura is the current doctor who takes care of me. Sakura is the only friend I have since we were still kids. She is just like my second sister to me.

  
Sakura put the crown on my head. “Now you are the Queen! And I should bow down to you like this,” she said as she did it.

  
I laughed. When we were still five, that was the best role play game we can play without any worries. You could be the next Queen or you could be the next Princess. Sakura and I only switched places.

  
And that was where I got my first symptom. I couldn’t stop shaking while my nose was bleeding. My head was hurt like hell, it was like the world was a total mess. Sakura then cried as she kept calling my father and uncle Hizashi. Both of them were rushed. And I don’t remember much about it. All I know was that I was brought to this hospital.

  
Up till now, the hospital doesn’t give up on me. They know it’s impossible for me to be cured. I clearly know about it too. But they still provide me with the medicine they had developed, year by year. They are still working to develop a new medicine though. My life is hanging on to it.

* * *

  
After I took a shower. I get out of my room, not in a wheelchair. I bring my notebook and sketchbook, just in case if I find an inspiration. I usually go to the hospital park. It’s located in front of the hospital yard while the lake is located in the backyard.

  
I know some of regular patients here. But I only talk to one of them. She is a seven year-old girl, who just had her surgery two days ago. Her name is Moegi. She always waits me at the park after breakfast, around 9 or 10 a.m. But now, I don’t see her on the bench we used to sit, nor anywhere near the park.

  
I stop to ask the nurse who passes by. If it’s regular patient, the nurses will know. “Excuse me, do you know where is Moegi? I usually meet her around this time on that bench”—I point out the bench—“but now she is not there.”

  
“Ms. Hyuuga, isn’t it?” The nurse asks.

  
I nod. “Yes.”

  
She smiles. “Moegi just left this morning with her family,” she says.

  
“But she didn’t say anything to me yesterday. Why was it so sudden?” I reply.

  
“That’s unfortunate, Miss. I don’t know myself. But I can try to ask other nurse if you want me to?” she gives me a sad look with her smile.

  
I stare at her. “Will you? I will wait on that bench,” I say.

  
“Yes, sure. Just wait, I’ll come back.”

  
“But, if you’re busy then don’t do it. I don’t want to add unnecessary thing to your duty,” I reply.

  
The nurse laughs. “It’s okay, Miss. I just dropped here and my shift will begin at noon.”

  
I smile. “Ah, okay then. Thank you so much.”

  
After she gave me another smile. I walk to the park and sit on the bench Moegi and I used to sit. She just had surgery and was in post-surgery treatment. That’s all I know about her. She didn’t talk much about her. Moegi said she loves my book. And that, she is grateful she got to meet me here. Moegi is an interesting kid. I mean, she asks me many questions about life, at her age. I wonder what fate that awaits her in the future.

  
Someone taps my shoulder and I turn around. It’s the nurse from earlier. She sits beside me and lets out a soft sigh. “I don’t know how to tell you this, Miss.”

  
Wait, why? Moegi can’t be dead. She just had her surgery. I still wait for the nurse to finish.

  
“Moegi left this hospital because her family couldn’t afford the hospital bill,” she continues.

  
If that’s the case, I’ll help her. I’m sure she hasn’t recovered that much from the surgery she had. “Can you hand me her address or contact number?” I ask.

  
The nurse smiles. “Yes sure. And Miss, have you taken your medicine for this morning? Your face looks pal—” she stops in surprise.

  
And I touch the upper of my lips, there is blood. My nose is bleeding again, and my head starts spinning. Yes, that’s it. I forgot to take my medicine. I didn’t take one after breakfast this morning.

  
“Miss?” The nurse calls in panic.

  
The last thing I remember is that I fell from that bench.

* * *

  
When I woke up, Neji and Sakura are there, sitting next to each other. Sakura shakes her head while looking at the file in her hands.

  
Sakura notices me. “Thank God, you finally woke up!,”—she walks toward me—“I don’t remember the last time you forgot your medicine, Hinata,” Sakura says in disappointment.

  
I sit on my bed.

Neji walks closer, but to the other side of my bed.

“Neither do I,” I reply. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

  
Neji gives me a worry look. “Are you feeling better now?” Neji asks. He’s in his suit and his hair is tied back.

  
“Yes. Don’t worry, Neji, I’m fine. Shouldn’t you go to your office?” I ask him. He doesn’t leave my eyes.

  
“Work can wait, Hinata. I don’t feel like I’m leaving you so soon here either. Uncle told me to make sure you’re alright,” he answers. “And besides, I brought your lunch.”

  
I nod. “Thank you, Neji. But Sakura’s here now, you don’t have to worry.”

Sakura smiles. “Yes, Neji. It’s okay if you want to go to work, though, I’ll make sure she’s fine. And of course, eat her lunch along with her medicine.”—Sakura gives me a piece of paper—“Here, Moegi’s address.”

“Moegi? The girl you always meet at the park?” Neji asks.

  
The address is only twenty minutes away from here. Maybe I can drop by? “Can I—”

  
“There is no way you can drop by. You’re still in your treatment,” Neji interrupts me.

  
I let out a long sigh, and look at Neji. “If it’s not me. Will you?” I ask.

  
“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea. Besides, Hinata just wants to help her to finish her post-surgery treatment,” Sakura adds.

  
Neji smiles. “Sure. I’ll make sure she’ll be here by tomorrow.”

  
“Really?” I squeeze his hand. “You’re such a lovely cousin! Thank you!” I giggle.

  
Neji rubs my hair. “Just get better quickly,” he says as he stands up. “Okay maybe I should go now. I’ll drop by Moegi’s house before reaching my office.”—he turns to Sakura—“Sakura, thank you for always taking care of her.”

  
Sakura smiles. “Yes sure. It’s not my first time though, Neji, don’t be so awkward.”

  
Neji laughs as a reply. He then gives us a wave before he disappears behind the door.

  
Sakura grins at me. “Now it’s time for lunch!”

  
After I ate my lunch along with my medicine. Sakura then leaves me because her shift almost begins, and because she has an appointment in the first hour. So she’ll come back here after she is done.

  
It’s already two o’clock. Hanabi will come at four, if she gets her college stuff done on time. Sometimes the college stuff can stress her out. I mean, she tells me about her college life sometimes and she just can’t take it. And most important is, she doesn’t want to be caught up falling in love with a boy. That’ll be a drag, she said. Guess I can’t blame her either, none of us has the experience to fall in love. Except Sakura, she has already had a boyfriend and their engagement will be held three months from now. I’m so happy for her.

  
If each person has their own shade of colour, I guess Sakura’s will be pink, just like her hair. And it suits her, as she always cheers me up. The shade of love, Sakura is lovely too. I love her as my own sister. She has that temper when she gets angry though, but I don’t think that counts as her bad side. Everyone has the right to express their emotions. More or less, it depends on the situation.

If each person has their own shade of colour, what shade do I have? I always wonder about it.

* * *

 


	2. Fade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please remember I don't own these characters I wrote. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto. I'll update two chapters for this week. Stay tune on my page @byakuganohime on Instagram.
> 
> Characters Note:
> 
> 1\. Moegi Kazamatsuri is only 7 yo here.  
> 2\. Hinata Hyuuga that I write here may be a little opposite to the original character.  
> 3\. Hanabi Hyuuga is 18 yo here.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you.

As Neji promised yesterday, Moegi is back to the hospital to continue her post-surgery treatment. Thank God, Neji is having a day off today so he visits me earlier and takes me to Moegi’s room. There are her mom and dad and also her granny.

  
Her mom, Mrs. Kazamatsuri hugs me. “I don’t know how to thank you,” she says.

  
I rub her back. “No problem, Mrs. Kazamatsuri, I’m glad I could help Moegi,” I reply.

  
“As a thank you gift, will you come to our house to have dinner together? We’ll try to serve best food for you, Ms. Hyuuga, only if you want,” Mr. Kazamatsuri says.

  
Moegi’s granny smiles at me then nods.

  
I look at Neji. Neji smiles a little.

  
Mr. Kazamatsuri shakes his hands quickly. “It’s okay no need to hurry. We know you’re still in your treatment,” he adds.

  
I smile at him. “Sure, thank you so much, Sir.”—I turn to Moegi—“Moegi, you better have some rest, then we’ll meet again at the park tomorrow, okay?”

  
Moegi smiles wider than ever. “Big Sister, thank you so much!”

  
I hug her and rub her hair. “You’re welcome.”

  
Moegi waves to us before we leave the room.

  
“You should’ve use the wheelchair, Hinata,” Neji says.

  
I giggle. “Look, I’m fine.”

  
We now walk through the corridor. Moegi’s room is on the second floor, while mine is on the fourth floor. So it’s quite far from me. I usually use the wheelchair. Maybe that’s also one of the reasons why I relapsed yesterday, I didn’t use my wheelchair and also didn’t take my morning’s medicine. That was pretty horrible though.

  
Actually I remember the times when I missed my medicine. I should drink six different pills a day in total. Three pills after I had my meals, two pills before I sleep at night, and one pill right after I woke up in the morning. If I missed one pill, then I can relapse just like yesterday, but if I missed more than one, the worst case scenario is that I’ll be in critic condition.

  
That ever happened to me, I was in coma for a week. After I woke up, my body was numb more than ever. Actually, sometimes I feel numb too, like I can’t feel my body at all. Just like paralyze, that’ll happen if my body is tired or at its limit. That also ever happened to me, a few times.

  
“Neji, to be honest, I want to eat bread right now,” I say when we pass the hospital cafeteria. “Can we buy some?”

  
Neji lets out a tch from his mouth and smiles at the same time. “You always eat much, don’t you? Just wait at that table, I’ll be back.”

  
I sit at the table near the window. This hospital is the largest one in Konoha, because it’s located in the center. My father, Hiashi Hyuuga, has known the president for long. His name is Minato Namikaze. I’ve only met him a few times though. The last one is like, last month. He always does a visit routine every month here, and he never forgets to come by my house or my hospital room. He always wants me to address him as my uncle so that’s why Neji, Hanabi, and I call him  _uncle_.

  
Uncle Minato lives in outside Konoha, he lives in Uzushio, the big city on the other side of this country. His wife, aunt Kushina is always with him every time he comes here. She always loves to bring me red bean soup she makes at home. And I love it too, it’s so delicious. I know they both have a son named Naruto. But I’ve never met him, even once. One thing I know is that he is study aboard now.

  
Ah, come to think of it, uncle Minato and aunt Kushina haven’t visited this month. Maybe they will, soon. I can’t wait to meet them both.

  
“Hinata, I only bought sandwiches.” Neji comes with a sad look and gives me the paper bag. “They ran out of the veggie bread that you always eat. And I asked for the extra salad.”

  
I take the paper bag from him then stand up. “Ah thank you! Hurry, we should go back. I’m gonna eat some extra salad sandwiches,” I say as I rub my stomach.

  
Neji shakes his head, and follows me without saying a thing.

* * *

  
I’ll leave the hospital at noon.

  
Kou will be the one who takes me home with Sakura. She is having a day off and she doesn’t have any appointment today. I refused her to accompany me, but she went straight mad. So I have no choice, I just want her to have rest on her day off.

  
I go to the park and find Moegi’s sitting on the bench. She is with a nurse. I’m sad because I have to leave this noon.

  
“Good morning, Moegi!” I greet her.

  
Moegi stands up and hugs me. “Big Sister!”

  
I smile at her. “How are you feeling, now, Moegi?”

  
“I’m super fine!” she smiles as we sit on the bench.

“That’s good!” I reply.

  
I greet the nurse, it’s the same nurse from yesterday. The one I asked for Moegi’s address. “Good morning.”

  
“Good morning, Ms. Hyuuga. I see you’re doing well right now,” she says with a smile.

  
“Yes, I’m feeling better. Thank you, Miss.”

  
“Just call me Ino, Ms. Hyuuga. I’m a friend of Sakura,” she replies. “Actually we took the same class.”

  
I give her a hand. “Ah, so you’re a friend of Sakura. Nice to know you, Ino. I’m Hinata,” I say as we shake hands.

  
“Hinata,” she says my name between her smile. “Sakura told me so much about you. I’m admiring you. You can survive so long. That’s so great.”

  
I smile wider. “No.”—I laugh—“Don’t say that.”

  
“I’m also admiring you, Big Sister,” Moegi says.

  
I stare at them both and think; is this the world’s mistake that they said that? Or is it just me who keeps blaming myself, believing that I don’t deserve such words?

* * *

  
Hanabi comes with Kou. She helps me pack my things, Sakura too.

  
“I’m glad I will have you back at home,” says Hanabi.

  
“Yes, I am glad too. I’m afraid she’ll be bored here,” Sakura replies.

  
I giggle. “This room is like my second room, though, so why would I?”

  
Hanabi and Sakura stares at each other and shrug between their smiles.

  
Kou steps forward and takes my bag. “We’ll have dinner tonight, Miss,” he says.

  
“Yes. Aunt Kushina and Uncle Minato are already here,” Hanabi adds. “I heard that they came to Father’s office with their son earlier.”

  
“That Naruto?” I ask. “Is he graduated already?”

  
“Yeah, I heard that he is. So that’s why we’re going to have a special dinner tonight.”

  
Kou goes ahead, taking a few things of mine to the car.

  
“Will you be there with Sasuke?” I ask Sakura.

  
Sakura shakes her head. “No, Hinata, I’m sorry. Sasuke wanted me to have dinner with his family. His brother just came home yesterday after a long time from his job,” she replies.

  
“Itachi?”

  
“Yes, the one that you used to have a crush on,” Hanabi laughs.

  
Sakura stops and turns to me. “Did she?”

  
“A long time ago,” I confirm it.

  
“I will sure tell him!” Sakura shouts.

  
I tap my forehead. “No, oh God. He’s attractive so that was why. It’s not love, so don’t do it.”

  
Hanabi and Sakura burst into laughter. After Sakura confirmed a few things at the administration desk, we leave the hospital. I have told Moegi and Ino that I’ll leave this noon, too. And Ino told me that Moegi’s treatment will be finished two weeks from now. I promised Moegi to visit her.

  
“You are friends with Ino, right?” I ask Sakura.

  
Hanabi sits beside Kou. Sakura and I sit on the backseat.

  
Sakura nods. “Yes. We’re good friends.”

  
“I am glad she’s the one who takes care of Moegi,” I say.

  
“Yes, she is nice, though. She could be a doctor, but she decided not to. I don’t know, she told me she didn’t have the money. And I did offer her to help but she refused,” Sakura replies.

  
“It’s unfortunate that she didn’t become a doctor.”

  
Sakura nods. “Yes, I think the same.”

* * *

  
Home sweet home. I can finally sleep in my own room again. I know that it won’t be that long. The reason why I should go to the hospital twice in month, for a week, is that they will give me something that they couldn’t give me at home. It’s like a liquid or something, but it’s kinda fragile and super sterile. The colour of the liquid is deep blue.

To be honest, what I miss the most from home is that my art room. I put my artwork and stuffs related to it there. Like paintings, whatever things I made, a scarf too, and _ikebana_ —the Japanese art of arranging flowers. But I only use withered flowers instead of the fresh ones. It’s because I don’t really like fresh flowers. They are beautiful, I know that clearly. But I just don’t have a thing for fresh flowers unless it’s white rose or cherry blossom.

  
So after we had lunch,—and me had my medicine—Sakura goes home to prepare for her dinner with Sasuke, Kou goes back to my dad’s office and Hanabi stays with me because she doesn’t have any classes today.

  
“So, are you nervous to meet Aunt Kushina’s and Uncle Minato’s son?” Hanabi asks as she joins me sitting on the bench at the backyard.

  
I bring my easels and painting tool here. “Why would I?”

  
Hanabi laughs. “I heard that he’s cool. One of my friends was his childhood friend.”

  
“How could someone say he’s cool when they’re just his _childhood friend_?” I roll my eyes.

  
Hanabi puts her fingers on her chin. “True. I don’t know, my friend said it. But, most important is, maybe, he can be your friend?”

  
“My friend?” I chuckle. “No.”

  
“You always said that, why? There are more people in this world than your family and Sakura and Moegi and that Sakura’s friend—who was her name again? Ino,” Hanabi says, her hands are now in front of her chest.

  
I shake my head. “It’s not that I don’t want to make a relationship with new people. I’m thinking that they won’t be friends with someone like me,” I reply—putting my paintbrush down.

  
Hanabi lets out a sigh. “Have fun with new people and making friends with them are your choice, Sissy.”

  
I look at Hanabi. She is right. It’s my choice. But as long as I live, I’ve never considered it as one. So I’ve never thought to choose it. It’s just that my body’s too weak, I hate it. I’m too weak, I hate it. _I hate myself._

  
“It will rain soon, Sissy. Come on in, I’ll bake some cookies for you,” Hanabi says as she walks to the backdoor.

  
The first raindrop falls on the canvas. It makes the colour I painted fade away. As if someone never painted the colour there. _The colour fades, as if I didn’t paint any colour there._

* * *

 


	3. Another Splash

Father and Kou, also Neji and uncle Hizashi are already here. I already took a shower, Hanabi did too. So now we—also Neji—sit next to each other on the couch while watching television. Father and uncle Hizashi sit on the different couch and they drink coffee while having conversation.

  
“Have you met him, Big Brother?” Hanabi asks.

  
Neji turns his head to us. “Who? That Blonde Freak?”

  
“What?” my father and uncle Hizashi shouts at the same time.

  
Neji makes faces to us then face them. “I’m sorry, Father, Uncle,” Neji replies.

  
I cover my face with one hand. “Be careful, duh,” I say to him.

  
Hanabi laughs in silence. “Did you mean Naruto?” she whispers.

  
Neji nods. “Yeah, he’s a freak.”

  
I shake my head.

  
“What freak about him?” Hanabi asks.

  
“Everything,” Neji answers and makes Hanabi laugh.

  
My father and uncle Hizashi are still having conversation and don’t seem to be bothered by us.

  
“He’s annoying,” Neji says. “I mean, he’s so loud.”

  
“Sounds awful,” I reply.

  
“Sounds fun,” Hanabi replies at the same time.

  
I look at Hanabi. “Unbelievable,” I say.

  
Neji chuckles.

  
I turn to my father’s direction. “Father, will uncle Minato and aunt Kushina stay over?” I ask.

  
I mean, they always do stay over for at least one night here besides stay at their house here. They also have a house that is one hour away from here.

  
“Yes. One night as always,” Father answers.

  
I nod. “Oh, alright.”

* * *

  
We have four guest rooms. The guest rooms are in the other part of the house. For example, my family rooms are in the west of the house while the guest rooms are in the east. We use different stairs.

  
We have my father’s office at the first floor. It’s located between the two stairs. And it’s quite large. Also my art room is located beside my room, so my room is located between my art room and Hanabi’s. Neji’s house is two blocks away from here, not that far though.

  
Hanabi has her own studio in the first floor, in the corner of the house. She uses the studio for recording her cover videos. She is a YouTuber. She usually sings the cover of a song. She now already has 1 million subscribers. I always tell her to make her own album immediately. But she said she’ll wait till she’s 20 years old, which is two years away.

  
Father doesn’t always agree with Hanabi’s decision. Father wants Hanabi to be the next successor of our family company. That’s why father doesn’t really want Hanabi to be a singer. I support Hanabi wherever she stands. I wish I didn’t have this disease, I’ll sure help father on the company. Oh God, do I still have a chance to recover? Even if there is 1% possibility, I will try my best to turn that 1% possibility into a 100% opportunity.

* * *

  
“Big Sister! Aunt Kushina and Uncle Minato are here!” Hanabi yells.

  
I get up from my bed. I don’t need to dress formally to attend a dinner at my own house, right?

  
Hanabi is already in front of my room. “ _Boom_!” she says.

  
“ _Aaah_! So surprised,” I reply in a flat tone.

  
Hanabi rolls her eyes then giggles. “Let’s hope this night will be extraordinary,” she says.

  
I want to ask her why should I hope that tonight will be an extraordinary night? But I decide not to.

* * *

  
When Aunt Kushina sees me, she runs to hug me. “Hinata!” she says in a very cheerful voice. “How are you?”

  
“Aunt Kushina,” I say as I smile warmly. “I’m glad to see you again, and I’m fine. How about you,”—I turn to uncle Minato and smile—“and Uncle Minato?”

  
“We’re also fine here, Hinata. I’m glad to hear that you’re already home now,” uncle Minato says.

  
“Yes, Uncle. I went home this afternoon,” I reply.

  
“Hinata, this is Naruto, our son,” aunt Kushina says as Naruto steps forward.

  
Naruto has uncle Minato’s hair with aunt Kushina’s facial expression. He gives me a hand. “Naruto,” he says—giving me a wide smile.

  
_Does he always like that?_ “Do you always like that?” _Damn it_ , did I just say it loud?

  
He gives me a confused look. “What? Giving a hand when you’re introducing yourself? Of course. I guess everyone always does that,” he says. “And they usually, uh, shake hands,”—he takes my right hand and shakes it—“like this.”

  
What is he doing? Help me, this is awkward. All of them are just staring without saying a word.

  
_That_ Naruto giggles. “Nice to meet you, Hinata,” he says.

  
I let go of his hand. “Y-yeah, nice to meet you too,” I reply.

  
He just gives me a wider smile.

  
“Alright then, shall we begin?” Father breaks the silence.

* * *

  
“So, you’re graduated already, right, Naruto?” Father asks him.

  
“Yes, Uncle. I also want to help my Dad on the company. But I still think I should improve more,” he replies.

  
“Actually I want to prepare him to be ready, too, Hiashi. But it looks like, he doesn’t really want it now,” uncle Minato says. I can sense the disappointment in his voice.

  
“Why?” I ask.

  
Naruto looks at me directly. “I still don’t think I’m suitable for my Dad’s position.”

  
“Well, at least you can help from another position. Everything starts from below, you know. That counts as learning too,” I reply.

  
I see my father smiles from the corner of my eyes.

  
Aunt Kushina smiles. “You understand it clearly, Hinata!” she says. “I told him million times.”

  
I give aunt Kushina a smile.

  
Naruto chuckles. “Not that simple,” he says.

  
“It is that simple. See, if I could I’d like to help my Father at his company. But my condition doesn’t let me. I wasn’t planning to be the next successor directly,—as my Father’s position now—but helping from another position. Maybe like, being his secretary? As long as I could jump in to the company directly, it would help a lot,” I explain to him.

  
Hanabi and Neji exchange looks. My father holds his smile.

  
Aunt Kushina looks at me with her wide smile. “Isn’t it my first time seeing you that tense and serious? And also talking much like that. Oh God, Sweetie, you’re great!” she says,—turns to her husband—“Isn’t she, Minato?”

  
Uncle Minato nods. “What she said is all true, Naruto,” he agrees.

  
Naruto smiles and nods. “Alright, I understand.”

  
“So, Minato, what about the next project? I’m actually waiting for the next developed medicine for Hinata’s disease,” uncle Hizashi asks.

  
Neji nods. “Yes, we are all waiting for it.”

  
Uncle Minato is also responsible for Konoha Medical Center. He’s working in the research department. “That is what I want to discuss.”—he clears his throat—“Maybe we can discuss this later, if you don’t mind.”

  
“It’s okay, Uncle. I want to know too,” I say.

  
My father gives uncle Minato a glance.

  
Uncle Minato fixes his position and puts his hands on the table. “Alright then. First I want to say that, we almost make it. But unfortunately, when we tried to give it to the tumor sample that Hinata also has, it didn’t react well.”—uncle Minato looks at me sadly—“The tumor Hinata has is really unique. It’s smart. When we poured the liquid, it spread, and turned into a smaller part. Then after two minutes, the smaller part found its way back to gather again. So we still want to figure it out.”

  
I don’t look down like Hanabi does. I look directly into uncle Minato’s eyes, following the moves. His eyes are so sad that he doesn’t want to look at me any longer now. I guess it can’t be helped, can it? I’m a real deal pathetic.

* * *

  
After dinner, Neji and uncle Hizashi directly go home. I go to my art room to clear my head. Hanabi is at her room. The last time I see, father is with aunt Kushina and uncle Minato, having tea time.

  
I realize that my last painting isn’t here. The rain ruined it pretty bad but I think I still can fix it. And when I open the door to look for it, Naruto’s face is right in front of me—far from what I want to look for right now.

  
Whoa, maybe he’s mad at me because I said awful things earlier? But I said what I think it’s true. “I’m sorry for earli—”

  
Naruto laughs. “I didn’t come for it. It was fine. But I guess that is because we haven’t known each other yet,” he says.

  
“What do you mean?” I ask.

  
“To be honest, I don’t want to follow my Dad’s path. I have my own path of this life. Ah, maybe we can talk about it later?” He holds a canvas and shows it to me.

  
It’s the painting I’m looking for.

  
Naruto smiles. “I’m sorry to disturb you, though, Hinata, but I found this,”—he shows me the painting in front of my face—“and your sister said it’s yours and told me to take it to you here. But I couldn’t help it. I also brought my painting equipment so I fixed it a little. I guess the rain didn’t ruin it that bad after all.”

  
The gloomy colour I painted changed into a warm and cheerful shade. So I stand there in silence, looking at it, without saying a word. _He just gave another splash on my canvas, didn’t he?_


	4. The Fusion

“What, you don’t like it?” He asks. Then he looks at the painting again while rubbing his head. “Is the colour combination bad?” He asks again.

  
Damn, he is _loud_. “No, it looks awesome. It’s just that I’ve never used such colours. That’s why I was surprised,” I reply.

  
“Well yeah, you know the acrylic paint has many shade,” he says.

  
“Of course I know it, but _I’ve never used such colours._ ”

  
“Does this kind of colour looks bad?” he rubs his head, _again_.

  
I cover my face with my hands. “I’m not saying the same line three times,” I say. “Let’s get in.”

  
He enters the room. “So this is your art room?”

  
“Yes.”

  
Naruto gives me the painting and I put it on the desk. “I have my own painting room at my house.”—he sits on the couch—“But this is awesome because I can see some form of arts here.”

  
“Thank you. Did you also take the art class?” I ask.

  
Naruto smiles and nods quickly. “Of course! Why would I miss it?”

  
“I don’t know? I didn’t think you’d take that class. Pretty far from your major, though,” I reply groggily.

  
Naruto chuckles. “I told you I don’t really want to walk on my dad’s path,” he says.

  
“Which path do you want to follow then?” I make us tea. It’s here because I only enjoy tea while I’m here.

  
“Of course my own path. I want to have my own art gallery, hold an art seminar, and more,” he replies.

  
I hand him the cup of tea then sit in front of him—on the other chair.

  
“Thanks,” he says.

  
“That’s pretty cool though. But what about the company? You are the only son right?”

  
Naruto nods. “Yes I am. I want to help dad too. I don’t know if it’s possible to be helpful in two persons’ lives, my dad’s and mine.”

  
I giggle. “To be helpful in two persons’ lives? It’s impossible.”

  
Naruto sips his tea. “What? You’ve never felt useful or helpful for once in your life?” he asks.

  
The question almost makes me spurt my tea. “How indelicate of you to say so,” I say. “I don’t know. I just never think about such things.”

  
Naruto laughs. “You sound so selfish.”

  
I’m afraid he’s right.

* * *

  
Aunt Kushina cooks us breakfast for this morning. As always, she bakes me some cinnamon flavoured brownies. I’m so glad to have a mom figure like her. Even it’s just for one day in a month.

  
To be honest, I don’t really remember my mother. She died after giving birth to Hanabi. And that was when I was three years old. I just remember her warm smile and a line she always said to me, “ _Little Hina, be careful. Don’t touch those roses, you can get hurt by its thorn_.”

  
I clearly never forget this one too. There was one thing my mother really loved to do, gardening. The garden that is located in the backyard of our house was full of roses that my mother planted. Mother really loved roses. But you can also find a white lily there too. Mother planted white lily other than roses. That was because the flower represents my name, Hinata.

  
I rarely go to that garden though. I feel empty there. As if there is a memory I don’t want to remember. And that makes me scared of being there.

  
“Delicious as always, Auntie Kushi!” Hanabi says happily.

  
“Really, Hanabi? I just learned a new menu! I’m glad it turned out good, oh my God!” Aunt Kushina smiles wider. “I’m so grateful.”

  
It’s true that her cooking always tastes good. That’s one of the reasons I easily miss aunt Kushina.

  
_Clang!_

  
“Hinata!”

  
I look at my dad’s shocked face, and that’s also when I’ve realized that I’m no longer on my chair.

* * *

  
“Is she going to be alright?” Hanabi’s voice.

  
“She will. It’s not her first time to relapse like that.” Neji’s voice now. “Uncle, it’s fine if you have something important to do at work. I will take care of her.”

  
“No it’s okay, Neji. I want to be here for a while, at least until she wakes up,” father replies.

  
My eyes are so heavy, same goes for my body even though I’m just fourty kilograms. It feels like I’m seventy now.

  
“Hiashi, don’t worry. She will be okay,” uncle Minato says.

  
“Yes! I’ll make sure that she will be alright!” It’s aunt Kushina now.

  
I bet everyone’s here, eh? But I don’t think uncle Hizashi is here though. However, Neji is here. Wasn’t he in the middle of something? Then got a call from my father or Hanabi, to tell that I was relapsed. If that’s so, I am such a disturbance.

  
“Ugh.” I open my eyes slowly.

  
“She wakes up!” Hanabi yells in happiness.

  
I’m not at home now though. It’s my room at the hospital. Are you kidding yourself, Hinata? It’s not even your time yet to be hospitalized. No kidding, I just went home two days ago.

  
“Why am I at the hospital?” I ask. “It’s not the time yet.”

  
Uncle Minato walks closer. “Did you forget to take your morning medicine?”

  
“Yes,” I answer without hesitate.

  
“Why?” uncle Minato asks as he sees the paper he holds. “If I’m not mistaken, it’s your second time this month. Do you aware of what will happen if you do it many times?”

  
I let out a small sigh. “I’m fully aware.”

  
“Then why did you do it?!”

  
I look straight at where the voice comes from—to be honest, we all do. Then I see him, Naruto, with angry expression.

  
“Calm down, Naruto,” aunt Kushina says.

  
Naruto doesn’t look down, nor sorry. “I don’t know why did she do it but it felt so wrong. Like what do you want from it? To get people’s attention?”

  
My father says nothing. Neji looks like he will beat the shit out of him, same goes for Hanabi. His words make me angry too. Like the blood runs so fast through my vein now. But I don’t do anything nor say a thing. I just look at him, pointless. Desperate.

  
Aunt Kushina steps closer to Naruto. “Naruto! That’s such an awful thing to say!”—she then grabs her son’s hand—“Let’s get out of here to talk about that manner of yours.” Then both of them disappear behind the door.

  
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience,” uncle Minato says. “Hiashi, can I talk to you outside?”

  
My father nods quickly and smiles. “Sure, Minato.”—then he pats my head before kisses my forehead—“I’d love to,” he says as both of them go out of this room.

  
Hanabi glares at me.

  
“It’s something serious to do, Hinata,” Neji says, he doesn’t look at me.

  
Hanabi then hits the sofa and cover her face with the pillow. Then she quickly sees her wrist where she wears her watch. “Shit! I’m late.”—she stands up and walks through the door—“Sis, Big Bro, I have to head out to college now!” she says without even looking at me, then she leaves us.

  
“You see? You made all people mad,” Neji comments.

  
I sigh. “Hanabi is just late. She isn’t mad.”

  
“You know how she is.”

  
“Maybe.”

  
“Stop!” Neji stands up. “Stop acting like a heartless bitch.”

  
“Excuse me?”

  
Neji lets out a _tch_. “You keep pretending not to care about anything other than yourself? Or even you don’t care about yourself either?”

  
“Leave,” I tell him.

  
“What? You want me to leave just because I said the truth? When will you stop? Ever since you turned sixteen, you are being this unhonest girl. Always pretending not to care about anything that’s happening around you,” Neji says. “Oh? I don’t forget about Moegi. But I guess, you helping her was the only time that you let yourself stop pretending. What happened to you at that moment though?”

  
I cover my ears with both hands. “Leave,” I cry. “Leave! Leave!” I scream.

  
Father and uncle Minato come in rush. Uncle Minato tries to stop me to move any further. Well, me? I cannot stop myself. I get this feeling in my heart now which is about to explode.

  
I don’t know what happened to me. Is it true that I’m pretending to be someone I’m not? I don’t know. I don’t know. It feels like my head and heart are about to explode at the same time. And it doesn’t feel good.

* * *

  
It was my first time to visit the Konoha Medical Center. Sakura offered a tour there so I was glad. That place was huge and quite comfortable for a broken soul. The garden was so beautiful and full of flowers.

  
The reason why I visited this place was that because I wanted to. No specific reason though. Father suggested it too, since people who work at this place would be the ones who help me.

  
“Hinata, can I leave you for a moment?” Sakura stopped, checking her phone.

  
“Sure. Don’t worry about me.”

  
I was sixteen at the moment. Sakura was seventeen. Well, my birthday was in five months.

  
I continued to walk around this place, until something stopped me. A group of people stood in front of B building. I couldn’t stop myself to know what did they talk about. There were four of them. Two with sad faces and the other two with disappointed look on their faces.

  
“This is about Ms. Hyuuga,” the one with the glasses said. “The other department said they are still working for the medicine. But the fact is, they aren’t.”

  
“You kidding, right?” The one beside the glasses man asked.

  
“No I’m not. They decided to stop because they cannot find anything further that can make the disease disappear. That blue liquid is the only thing that can.”

  
“So are you saying that we stop developing it any further?”

  
“Yes. You know, the blue liquid that we created for Ms. Hyuuga was made from very rare material. We highly doubt if we can find that kind of material anywhere unless here. And, the stock of that material is getting less and less. However, President Minato said he should go all around the world, from one country to another, to meet the best scientist to help him for Ms. Hyuuga medicine.”

  
The other one who with safe face smiled. “Isn’t that good?!”

  
“It is. But the Chief doesn’t want President Minato to continue doing that. It makes our income decreasing.”

  
Three of them let out a sigh. “So they want to stop it?”

  
“Yes. I feel sorry for Ms. Hyuuga.”

  
“I hope President Minato can help her.”

  
“I doubt it. Ms. Hyuuga has a very little chance to recover.”

  
That was what Neji meant earlier. Started from that moment, I think, no matter things I do in my life, it will get wasted. My life is fragile. It can be broken anytime.

* * *

  
“Oh! You woke up!” someone says in a cheerful tone.

  
“Hi there, Hinata.”

  
That voice.

  
“Itachi?” I choke. Then turn into the woman beside me. “Sakura? How can you—”

  
I touch my head, it hurts really bad.

  
“Stay still. You’re still in unstable condition,” Sakura says as she smiles.

  
I nod and put my head on my pillow again.

  
“I pay you a visit because It’s been a while since I met you,” Itachi says. He walks to my hospital bed.

  
Sakura does something with my infusion water. I guess it’s already the time where she’ll give that blue-ish liquid.

  
I smile. “I’m glad, Itachi. Thank you. But where is Sasuke? He didn’t come?”

  
“My brother is at the canteen to grab us something for dinner,” Itachi replies.

  
I nod. “Mmm.”

  
Sakura smiles. “That’s it for now. It’s time to eat your dinner.”

  
“Who was the one who brought me dinner?” I ask her.

  
“The blonde guy, I guess his name is Naruto,” Sakura replies. “He said sorry for this morning, then he left because he had something important to do. I didn’t ask what it was.”

  
“I see. Thank you. Um, what time is it?”

  
Sakura looks at her wrist. “5 p.m.”

  
“Can I—”

  
“Absolutely no. You have to rest for now and eat your dinner.”

  
“What do you want?” Itachi asks.

  
“She wants to go to the hospital lake. Sunset,” Sakura answers quickly.

  
“I can accompany her.”

  
I look at Sakura with puppy eyes.

  
Sakura lets out a sigh. “Fine. Use the wheelchair. And eat your dinner after that.”

  
“Alright! Thank you, my beloved cotton candy!”

  
Sakura rolls her eyes then smiles. “As long as you’re happy.”

* * *

  
“When is the wedding again?” I ask Itachi.

  
“Next month,” he tells me.

  
“Everything’s ready?”

  
“Obviously. Izumi works really hard for the wedding.”

  
“Do you help her, though?”

  
Itachi chuckles. “Of course!”

  
I smile.

  
“Hey, Hinata. Tell me.” Itachi lays down. “What happened with you at the age of sixteen?”

  
“Neji told you?”

  
“He did. But don’t blame him, I forced him to tell us. Including Sakura. I was surprised that you didn’t tell her.”

  
I let out a sigh. “I didn’t tell anyone.”

  
Even though I already know they have stopped working on the medicine. I don’t stop uncle Minato to tell me and my family that they are still working on it. I believe uncle Minato tries his best. And I don’t mind if he lies. As long as the lies can make me a little relieved, it’s fine. It’s totally fine. I’m still grateful that they still can make that blue liquid for me.

  
I tell Itachi everything. He is a good listener, just like I expected. And for the answer, Itachi doesn’t say anything. He watches the sunset in silence.

  
“Hinata, you have to fight once again. Fight as yourself. Not someone you are pretending to be,” Itachi finally says before we leave.

  
This time, the orange bias looks pale. The sparkling water seems disagree. I guess it can’t be helped. Life will throw you another shade on your canvas of life. The colour may not be pretty nor bright. It may not be gloomy nor dark. But there will always be a fusion, where the two opposite colours will collide.


End file.
